The World Cup flu!

You may not know but it is more prevalent than swine flu right now. It is more infectious as well! The most serious thing about it is that it affects people of all genders,ages and castes,though the manifestations may differ.
It is almost at an epidemic scale right now in India,speading like wild fire. There is not a family left untouched. The strain this year is said to be highly resistant and difficult to control.
As any other epidemic, it is important to be well informed and aware of the symptoms and tell-tale signs. After all,

Knowledge is
power!

So let us discuss the various types and manifestations of this highly contagious disease that even an N-95 mask is a useless defense against it.

1. WC Extremis

Commonly seen in male subjects.
Incubation period-None.
Age affected– >5years(no upper limit,most severly affected-14-40 year group)
Onset-Sudden.
Symptoms– Anxiety
-Unwillingness to go out of the house
-Hesitation to bathe or use the toilet
-Tendency to scream and shout at intervals
-Mood swings
-Craving for junk food
-Tunnel vision for television
-Selective hearing loss
-Sudden colour blindness to all colours except blue
Prognosis-Guarded.
Suggested treatment-. It is a serious,disabling disease but not life threatening.The flu shall take its own course and patients are known to recover fully. It is advised that the patient be left undisturbed else some complications may occur. Subtle attempts can be made to suggest a little concern over hygeine and activities of daily living if utterly neccessary.

2.WC Moderatus

Commonly seen in female subjects.
Incubation period-1-2 days of coming in contact with Category1 patient.
Age affected-Selectively affects females(mostly 23-40years)married to those who suffer from Category1.
Onset-Gradual.
Symptoms– Irritability
-Helplessness
-Feeling of being a single parent
-Urge to get out of the house and indulge in binge shopping!
-Panic attacks everytime the Category 1 shouts or screams
-Feeling of impending doom on looking at the chaos and mess at home
Prognosis-Self limiting.
Suggested treatment- The course of this category of disease is subjective. Some patients are oblivious to the disease while some suffer every symptom. It is advised that it is best to maintain a distance of 6 feet from any patient showing symptoms of Category 1 to avoid falling prey to it. Though if you still catch the disease,you can try relaxation techniques like facials,mani & pedi,spas…to name a few.
The surest way to get rid of it is to take the credit card of your partner suffering from WC Extremis and go on binge shopping. It will surely relieve you of the flu and you never know…..the shock may treat your partner too!

3.WC Wonderous

Exclusively seen in children.
Incubation period-None.
Age affected-<5years,genetic descendants of category 1 & 2.
Onset-Sudden.
Symptoms-Extreme sense of freedom
-Running about amock
-Excessive joy of not being reprimanded by ailing parents
Prognosis-Good.
Suggested treatment- This category is basically a side effect of the above two categories. Therefore unless any one of them can be avoided,this one is inevitable. This is the only category that truly enjoys the flu and longs for it too!