Teaching social media etiquettes to children

Since the past six months, our entire lives seem to have shifted online. From work to schools to attending functions and funerals…everything has, unfortunately, become virtual. The pandemic has forced us to stay cooped up inside our houses and the erstwhile debate on ‘exposing children to devices’ has gone out the window. Schooling being online, the screen time of the children is beyond recommended by any standards but right now, there seems to be no other solution to stay sane and connected if not through digital devices. As schoolwork is being shared and submitted online using Google classrooms and Whatsapp, most of the parents(including me) have given children a device of their own to manage classes and homework, something I might not have done for another easy 2 years otherwise, till my daughter turned 13. I agree it is convenient and required but it raises the question-are the children ready to take on the responsibility that comes with access to social and virtual media? Are we as parents trying to ensure that they know and understand basic social media etiquette and safety guidelines to use technology to their benefit? Or are we just handing them fast bikes way before the driving age, without a license, without a knowledge of the rules of the road??

I have registered her device on a child google account which lets her search only age-appropriate content and also allows me to monitor her device and regulate how much she uses it but I had this conversation with her about social media etiquette and I am glad I did. This is what it was about:

10 Simple social media etiquettes

1. Think, rethink and then think again before you post

Teach your child the difference between the real world and the virtual world of social media where it becomes very easy to be rude and indifferent to others just because you are not facing them. Teach them to behave just as they would if the person was right in front of them. Would they say this to their face? They must always consider this before posting anything.

2. Wear another’s shoes and see where it pinches

The best way to assess if it is okay to post something is to place yourself in the other person’s position and then think about how it would make you feel. If you feel hurt/disturbed, you know it is not the right thing to say. The golden principle of life applies everywhere- Do unto others as you would have others do unto you!

3. Never post in anger or haste

Arguments on social media can get heated up quite easily and quite rapidly. If you are allowing your child to access social media, you also need to teach your child to exercise restraint and not give in to the temptation of indulging in arguments that are not healthy discussions. It is important to teach children to be tolerant of the viewpoint of others even if it does not match their own. Even if someone is being illogical, posting in anger is not the solution and the child may end up posting something that is even more nasty or rude. When such a thing happens, tell them that it helps to take a short break, think it through, and then have a conversation again with a cool mind.

4. Never post pictures of others without consent

With cameras being present in every mobile device, it is super easy for anyone to click pictures and share them online. Although it is fun, especially the filters, children must be taught that they cannot click/share pictures of others without their consent. The same goes for pictures/face stickers shared by a friend/classmate on a Whatsapp group. Respecting others’ privacy and valuing their own are both important.

5. Do not share confidential/personal information

Times are not the same and the internet is not a safe place as well. Children need to be taught not to delve any confidential information like their passwords, or personal information online, to anyone. Tell them that the relevant people already know and those who don’t, don’t need to. Also, ask them to confide in you if someone enquires about these details.

6. Once online, it stays forever

Children think that the delete button is their best friend and they can delete whatever they wrongly posted. True, they can, but they also need to know that something once posted online never truly gets deleted in absolute. By the time they delete it, it may have been downloaded, shared further, or taken a screenshot of.

7. Group chat etiquette

Children have whatsapp groups with other students and friends and these groups tend to be very active due to the enthusiasm of these young minds. Sometimes, a conversation can start in the group among a couple of the members and slowly become a communication between only 2 participants, which is alright but if it is at odd time, it might be nice to switch over to private chat instead so that others are not disturbed.

Any grievance with a friend should also not be discussed over group chat but in private message or better still, over a call with the concerned friend.

8. Cyberbullying is never okay

It is not just about etiquette, it is also about safety. Cyberbullying is just as real as bullying in school. Teach your child to identify and report a cyberbully. Posting hateful, nasty, hurtful comments about someone is not okay. Teach your child never to indulge in such an activity and also never to tolerate it quietly. If your child is a bully, sensitise your child to the implications of this behaviour. If your child is being bullied, comfort and support your child and approach the bully’s parents with composure. Even they might not be aware.

9. Be aware of your digital footprint

We got to use mobile phones well into adulthood and even then, there wasn’t much to be called social media till Orkut came about. But children today are accessing social media at a very early stage in life. Therefore, they need to be wary of their digital footprints. Many firms have started checking a person’s digital footprint at the time of background check for employment and it kind of makes sense as online activity tells so much about a person.

10. Do not talk to strangers

As important as is in real life, tell your child not to indulge in any sort of conversation with someone not known. This is especially for chatrooms in gaming apps. Conversations may start regarding the game and the child may lose the ‘stranger’ feeling but let them know that screen names are fake and talking to such a person may be harmful. Also, never to trust someone who claims to be a ‘friend’ of a ‘friend’.

There are lots of grown ups around us who do not conform to social media etiquette and that has resulted in a vicious atmosphere on many social media channels that are full of trolls and bullies but we can try and raise a generation who imbibes these values and is tolerant and sensitive towards each other and each other’s differing viewpoints! Cheers to that!!