I have a lot of friends, many type of friends; I love them all for their unique, quirky traits but one of them, well I hate her and she’s one of my best friends. Surprised? Don’t be. You will understand why I feel the way I do about her when you read the reasons why:
Reason #1: I hate her for the lovely memories that make me cry
The fun of wearing the same colour tees, sporting the same brand of sports shoes and even getting ‘flicks’ cut together.. The studying together at night, kicking each other to get ready for college, sharing meals, cosmetics, clothes and coffee…hostel was so much fun because of her! There are so many joyful memories that fill me with nostalgia and moisten my eyes thinking of them. Mascara is expensive these days. Naturally, I hate her!
Reason #2: I hate her for making me realise sisters are fun!
Before I met her, I never knew sisters were important. She became the sister I never had and shared my worst secrets and the best of my memories. It was not only the joy of togetherness but also the confidence of having someone around who understood me. I hardly knew at that time that the companionship would not last forever…like everything else. We graduated and moved in different directions. Though we are still in touch, we are far away at two ends of the globe and I often need and miss that sister. Naturally, I hate her!
Reason #3: I hate her for her annoying habits that I miss
Okay, can you imagine trying to wake someone up who just keeps asking you to wait for five more minutes? That too when you are getting late for college and the teacher is no less than a monster waiting to devour anyone entering the lecture theatre a second later than the bell? That’s what she did, every day! I never left her behind and we both ended up running to the lecture hall with a half eaten bread-jam in our hands, praying to God that the teacher was late. She was a reincarnation of Sleeping Beauty and could sleep anywhere, anytime. I found it annoying but looking back, I think she looked adorable when she dozed off sitting with the facepack on. She was the selfie pioneer who could click a selfie with the rear camera. Now I know she was not being weird, she was just ahead of her times! God, I miss her so much that I hate her!
Reason #4: I hate her for her carefree attitude
When you yourself are a forever-worrying person, you find it incredibly disturbing that your room mate and best friend just does not care. While I would be fretting away, she would be catching up on her sleep or simply chatting on the phone. It made my worries look petty. She loved to party, to celebrate life and enjoy every moment. Gradually and eventually, I became more like her. I became poorer in my ability to worry. I hate her for that!
Reason #5: I hate her because I miss her!
Okay, so that is the biggest reason. She may be doing well in life but when I see the updates she puts on social media and is surrounded by friends (as usual) and I am not among them, despite the likes and comments I post, I am seething with jealousy. I miss my friend and wish I could rewind time and go back to the hostel days when either of us was never alone even if we wanted to. I want that all again, the fights, the make-ups, the silly things we did together, the laughter, the tears…
But that is what life is..a continuous journey that allows you to pause and look back but never lets you retrace your steps. So I smile whenever anyone mentions the word ‘best friend’ for I hold the memories close to my heart and harbour the confidence that no matter where she is, she will be there when I need her the most!