The impact of unsaid words

‘Actions speak louder than words’

‘Words once spoken cannot be retrieved’

The list of quotes that advise on the careful selection of words is endless and we oft emphasise on the importance of weighing the effect of words before uttering them. Yet, as powerful as speech is, silence can be pretty strong too. The impact of unsaid words, can at times be deeper than that of the said ones. There are so many instances when we have the right answer to the question, the apt reply to a comment, the exact words that need to be spoken to calm down the situation, and yet we choose to remain quiet. The moment passes and the value of those words is lost forever.

There are so many words that we leave just hanging in our minds. The magical words ‘I love you’ are not uttered too often, even when they might have just brightened up your partner’s mood after a long day at work or pepped up your child after a fight with a friend. You refrain from expressing your emotions. Your partner already knows you love him/her….is that your excuse? It is a lame one. As important as love is in a relationship, it is equally important to express it, not only in your actions but also your words. 

Children too need to learn to be more expressive and for that they need to learn it from you. They outgrow hugs and kisses very soon but they will never outgrow spoken expression of love, if you teach them how.

A word of encouragement when the child fails in an endeavor, can go a long way in boosting his confidence, while silence shall only reinforce his feeling of failure.

Not only do you need to speak out encouraging words, but you also need to use strong restraining ones when you see your child going in the wrong direction. Not using the right words at the right time, may mar your child’s future.

After a tiff, you could have easily said ‘I am sorry’ and the misunderstanding would have ended there and then but you chose to remain silent and conveyed the opposite, causing you both to rift apart and end a beautiful relationship. Communication is the key to a fulfilling relationship. 

Many couples drift away after marriage when they stop having discussions. Arguments are healthy. Keeping feelings pent up inside only leads to bitterness. Silence isn’t always golden!

You know that what is being said sounds irrational and have the perfect argument against it but you don’t want to have a confrontation with a colleague. You let it pass. Silence is often misjudged as affirmation and you might have just encouraged a wrong notion by choosing to remain quiet over it. It soon becomes a habit of sorts and we stop standing up and speaking out for what is wrong unless it affects us directly, failing to realise that what goes around, comes around! 

Human beings are the only species to have developed such advance and complex language of communication. It is therefore our instinctive need to converse. Words must be carefully chosen but it is also pertinent to USE them at the right time. 

The un-mailed letters leave you with unanswered questions that could have changed life’s course. The un-proclaimed love could have given you a love that lasted a lifetime.

The fear of failure, hurt, hesitation, indifference… whatever may be the reason for your silence, just remember that words not said are the biggest regrets that one carries to his grave. So, don’t leave the words unsaid that need to be voiced. Those words may have the ability to make a world of difference! 

Express yourself!