When my soldier is gone….An Army wife writes

Wish for you as all dreams unsaid,

Miss you as miss breath the dead.
Desire you like flight the bound,
Cherish you like a treasure found.
Follow you as sunflower follows sun,
Trust you the way I trust none.
Need you like deserts need rain,

Love you like I’ll never love again!

Do I need to tell you…I am missing my hero in Olive Greens? Yes,the soldier is out and I have braved five days without him but there are still 49 more to go…
Every time he leaves,it is the same…as difficult as ever…never gets easier.

Stages of coping:
Praying he won’t leave….
Sulking when he is leaving….
Trying to be angry when he has left…
Putting up a brave front….
Struggling to feel strong…failing miserably at that!
Sulking more…
Trying to be angry….
You get the drift ,right? It is a vicious circle.

Today,I am officially feeling low and missing him badly. I do not wish to demean his higher calling by brooding publicly so will try and concentrate on the amusing side of my peculiar condition.

One thing I always face when he leaves is a volley of eccentric questions laced with unwanted sympathy. So let me begin by telling you the questions and what I actually feel like saying in reply(though in reality I answer very politely with a smile)

Things not to say to the likes of me:


How do you manage? I really pity you.
Thank you so much! What would I do without it?

-I could never live like this.
It is said that there is weak,there is strong and then there is Army-wife strong. Everyone cannot be that.

-Has he ever shot someone?
Oh yes,that is what we discuss over tea in the evenings. What do you talk about?

-What does he do when he is in a peace station? Party?
Yes,of course. Who needs to prepare for war,right?

-I understand your pain. My husband goes off to business trips too.
Of course,what difference is there in attending conferences and fighting armed terrorists?

-Why did you marry an army officer? It’s so difficult.
Go back to answer no.2

Are you not afraid he might cheat on you?He stays away and all.
I could tell you to shut up but politely reminding you,he is in a warzone defending the country,not a hotel. And yes,a man’s fidelity has nothing to do with his job but lots to do with his integrity.

-Are you not afraid he may never come back from a field posting?
You really expect me to answer that?

It’s good yaar, love increases with separation. He must be earning more too.
Get me my wine before I kill you.

Let me just say-

Army wives are not used to staying alone,contrary to what you might believe.
Nothing ever prepares one for it. Everytime my soldier leaves,it hurts the same…if not more!

Just because I can bear the grief,it doesn’t mean I deserve it.
I chose to marry an army officer ‘coz I was ready to make sacrifices for my love, I am still as emotional as any other girl.

I do not serve but I contribute too.
I stay deprived of love and affection for long periods of time for your safety and security. Pay me respect!

Yay to all the army wives
All you ladies married to armymen, be proud !

You are the only thing in your soldier’s life that is perfect,yet not in olive green.
You are his reason to come home to.
You are his motivation, no matter how hard the times.
Other girls swoon over reel heroes, you married a real one!
Your soldier can kill and die for the nation….let these people keep guessing what he can do for you.
You are a class apart….no  one can do what you do…definitely not with a smile!

So here I am today…
Sad, lonely, apprehensive
a proud army wife!
Miss you my soldier!
Fare well and
be home soon!!

15 thoughts on “When my soldier is gone….An Army wife writes

  1. Very well expressed love of a wife for her Hubby drenched in the proud and concern for his being there at borders.
    I am proud of you, Dear Soldier. Its your love which has inspired her to write and inspire us all.
    Shivani ji 🙂 All the Best

  2. When a soldier leaves to attend call of Nation, he carries with him sweet memories of the peace time posting and carries with him all strength, confidence, zeal, zest and above all spirit of fulfilling the demand of motherland.He carries in his wallet smiling faces of kins behind. This is the strength he carries with him. Hats off to Army wives who are always the strength of their loved one. Hum honge Kamyaab is the slogan in their minds.Amen

  3. Very well written shivani as always ,

    yes 1 body with half heart is just like shadow on the floor without the man standing. Wife of a solider have to stand in a storm when the wind did not blow her way . She will love him day night remember him day night hold him in her heart until she hold him in her arms. she will keep her busy with things but many times she will pause and think for her man . It’s the strength of believing him coming back makes her a perfect attendant.
    She loves him like anything because she knows that he risks his life for the people he doesn’t even know , imagine what he will do for me.
    It’s the god gifted passion which makes a man into a solider everybody can not play this role of life !!! It’s seriously tough.
    All relations of a solider are bound to encourage him as he carries his country’s respect on his shoulders and we as citizens should be proud of them.

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